How To Handle Rejection As A Sensitive Person
Today, I wanted to write a blog post on the dreaded "R" word in a writer's world...
REJECTION.
Yes, it hurts every time. And yes, every writer experiences it -- whether it's your first novel you're querying or your fiftieth.
I've revealed on this blog before that I'm an HSP -- a highly sensitive person.What does that mean? Well...
In other words, my feelings get hurt. A LOT. And when you're a writer, that happens all the time. There's no way to avoid it or circumvent the process.
I wanted to share my coping mechanisms for aspiring authors out there who face rejection but aren't sure how to handle it.
1. Remind Yourself That Art Is Subjective
You can't write a book for everyone. It's impossible.
(And if you think it isn't, search your favorite book online -- the one you think is the greatest ever written -- and read all the bad, nasty reviews. I guarantee they're there.)
You must make peace with the fact that some people will hate your book. They'll think you're the worst writer on the planet. It doesn't mean it's true -- that's just their opinion. Art is subjective and everyone has likes and dislikes. Remind yourself that you aren't here to please everyone and you don't need the world's approval -- whether from an online reviewer or literary agent.
Like a wolf, you'll find your right pack. It just takes time to find loyal fans in this industry -- people who like and understand your ideas.
2. Practice Self-Care
The term "self-care" is thrown around a lot these days -- especially on Twitter. What does it mean? For me, it means taking breaks and setting aside time for yourself. Just you -- no one else. Relax in a way that you enjoy, whether it's a bath, a good movie, a good meal, or a walk in the park. Make sure you're eating healthy, exercising, and getting a good night's rest.
Taking time away from writing is crucial to your mental health. You're allowed to put writing aside for weeks at a time if need be. It doesn't make you any less of a writer for that.
3. Seek Out (Supportive) Family and Friends
Hopefully, you have people in your life that you can count on -- friends, family, teachers. It doesn't matter. If they make you happy, spend time with them.
They should serve as a reminder that you CAN be accepted -- that not everyone will reject you.
4. Read and Watch Things That Were Rejected
Star Wars. Harry Potter. A Wrinkle In Time. Carrie by Stephen King. What do all of these seemingly random things have in common?
They were all rejected. Multiple times. For me, sometimes it helps to read books and watch movies/TV shows that literary agents and producers rejected. It reminds me that even the greats experienced rejection -- but they persevered and made it in spite of it all. It makes me think that could be me one day. It's fun to dream, right?
5. Give Yourself Permission To Fail
I've mentioned this a few times in the past. Give yourself permission to fail. What does that mean?
Stop putting pressure on yourself to succeed. Que sera, sera -- what will be, will be. Follow your heart, chase after your dreams, but don't get disappointed in yourself or discouraged if you experience rejection, criticism, and failure along the way. That's all part of the journey. Remember that this is only ONE rejection and...
6. There Will Be More Opportunities
If I printed out all my rejections, they could fill the Indian Ocean. But I still managed to get a publishing deal and win a scholarship to a famous film school despite all of them. Why? Because I found my pack -- people who enjoyed my writing and understood my style.
There's no limit to rejections. You can accumulate THOUSANDS and still succeed one day. I have a philosophy called T.A.O.O. It stands for "There Are Other Opportunities". You have an INFINITE amount of chances to get accepted. This is only one rejection and isn't indicative of your future success or ability to be accepted.
There you have it -- six ways to handle rejection and (hopefully) come out stronger for it. I wish you the best of luck and success. Thanks for reading!
Sincerely,
Dana
REJECTION.
Yes, it hurts every time. And yes, every writer experiences it -- whether it's your first novel you're querying or your fiftieth.
I've revealed on this blog before that I'm an HSP -- a highly sensitive person.What does that mean? Well...
In other words, my feelings get hurt. A LOT. And when you're a writer, that happens all the time. There's no way to avoid it or circumvent the process.
I wanted to share my coping mechanisms for aspiring authors out there who face rejection but aren't sure how to handle it.
1. Remind Yourself That Art Is Subjective
You can't write a book for everyone. It's impossible.
(And if you think it isn't, search your favorite book online -- the one you think is the greatest ever written -- and read all the bad, nasty reviews. I guarantee they're there.)
You must make peace with the fact that some people will hate your book. They'll think you're the worst writer on the planet. It doesn't mean it's true -- that's just their opinion. Art is subjective and everyone has likes and dislikes. Remind yourself that you aren't here to please everyone and you don't need the world's approval -- whether from an online reviewer or literary agent.
Like a wolf, you'll find your right pack. It just takes time to find loyal fans in this industry -- people who like and understand your ideas.
2. Practice Self-Care
The term "self-care" is thrown around a lot these days -- especially on Twitter. What does it mean? For me, it means taking breaks and setting aside time for yourself. Just you -- no one else. Relax in a way that you enjoy, whether it's a bath, a good movie, a good meal, or a walk in the park. Make sure you're eating healthy, exercising, and getting a good night's rest.
Taking time away from writing is crucial to your mental health. You're allowed to put writing aside for weeks at a time if need be. It doesn't make you any less of a writer for that.
3. Seek Out (Supportive) Family and Friends
Hopefully, you have people in your life that you can count on -- friends, family, teachers. It doesn't matter. If they make you happy, spend time with them.
They should serve as a reminder that you CAN be accepted -- that not everyone will reject you.
4. Read and Watch Things That Were Rejected
Star Wars. Harry Potter. A Wrinkle In Time. Carrie by Stephen King. What do all of these seemingly random things have in common?
They were all rejected. Multiple times. For me, sometimes it helps to read books and watch movies/TV shows that literary agents and producers rejected. It reminds me that even the greats experienced rejection -- but they persevered and made it in spite of it all. It makes me think that could be me one day. It's fun to dream, right?
5. Give Yourself Permission To Fail
I've mentioned this a few times in the past. Give yourself permission to fail. What does that mean?
Stop putting pressure on yourself to succeed. Que sera, sera -- what will be, will be. Follow your heart, chase after your dreams, but don't get disappointed in yourself or discouraged if you experience rejection, criticism, and failure along the way. That's all part of the journey. Remember that this is only ONE rejection and...
6. There Will Be More Opportunities
If I printed out all my rejections, they could fill the Indian Ocean. But I still managed to get a publishing deal and win a scholarship to a famous film school despite all of them. Why? Because I found my pack -- people who enjoyed my writing and understood my style.
There's no limit to rejections. You can accumulate THOUSANDS and still succeed one day. I have a philosophy called T.A.O.O. It stands for "There Are Other Opportunities". You have an INFINITE amount of chances to get accepted. This is only one rejection and isn't indicative of your future success or ability to be accepted.
There you have it -- six ways to handle rejection and (hopefully) come out stronger for it. I wish you the best of luck and success. Thanks for reading!
Sincerely,
Dana
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